Wednesday, April 29, 2009


The Snackmaster = The Slackmaster (praise "Bob")

I apologize.
Stay tuned next week for new updates...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

April 21, 2009

Day two of deep fry experiment:

Things were not all that better today, although there was one resounding success.
The Twinkie.
This was the one that I had the most faith in, and I was not let down.
The Twinkie was good.
The Twinkie was perfect.
I believe I deep fried it for the exact amount of time that I should have. It came out an even golden brown on the top and just a little bit yellow on the bottom, where the cream holes are found. Biting into it is a quick light crisp followed by some soft inner sponge cake and finally a slightly melted, somewhat gooey cream filling. Warm cream filling.
I believe that Twinkies are such a successful deep fry item because the cake portion is just primed for deep frying. Add to that the fact that the cake is already quite buttery, and you end up with a large flavor.
There was no guilt involved in eating the Twinkie.

Being the lazy, overzealous shlub that I am, I did not even do the most minimal research into finding out how to successfully prepare some deep fry dishes that I had heard of.
The result of this was me throwing a straight out-of-package Snickers Bar and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup directly into the grease with no prep. Had I googled "deep fried snickers" before hand I would have come upon a recipe instructing me to first freeze the Snickers and then batter it.
Needless to say the chocolates just melted and were not transformed in any meaningful way in flavor or appearance.

One item that I was looking forward to the most was Peeps. I threw in one Peep and watched it slowly disintegrate. Goodbye Peep, I had such high hopes for you.

I did, however, deep fry some generic brand Apple Newtons. While I didn't particularly enjoy eating them, I do not view this as a failure. They did not lose their physical integrity and came out tasting like a little apple fritter, crispy and tasty.

Monday, April 20, 2009

April 20, 2009

Ok so I dropped the ball on getting the deep-fry experiment going this weekend.
But I got the ball rolling today.

I picked up the wok and a 96 fluid oz. jug of corn oil after work today.
I set myself to it as soon as I got home from work, already a bit hungry.
I dumped more than half of the oil into the wok, giving it a good couple inches of depth.
My intention was to start out with something that could possibly substitute for dinner.
I tossed 2 Eggo Blueberry Waffles in the heated oil.
Adding a little bit of maple syrup, I sat down and gave it a try.
Almost immediately I knew that this was a mistake. Eggos are like sponges.
Cheap sponges, but sponges nonetheless. They absorbed the oil.

Whereas I have stated in the past that I want to keep The Snackmaster a positive blog and only talk about pleasurable snacking experiences, I have to come clean on this experiment. Lay out both the good and the bad.

The waffles were a bad idea.

Chewing into them I enjoyed the standard Eggo Waffle + Maple syrup experience, but it quickly was overwhelmed with the magnitude of grease that each bite contained.
Chewing the waffle bite, you could kind of feel the grease sloshing around in your mouth.
Kind of like eating cereal with milk.
After this, I cut up a few soft corn tortillas into quarters and fryed them up to make restaurant style tortilla chips.
Those were pretty good, but I'm still struggling with my method of removing as much grease from the deep–fried item after cooking it.
Having just eaten those two waffles and a few chips, I knew that I was done for the night.
The amount of grease already consumed was enough for me start feeling gravity's pull.
I sat down and struggled through some very minor waves of nausea.
Tomorrow begins the real experimentation.

Right now I am sweating out the grease and chewing on some Jelly Belly classic variety pack Jelly Beans. These are kind of hitting the spot right now.
I think the grapefruit flavor is pretty clever.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Cereal Profiles, Entry 3

Blueberry Muffin Tops by Malt – O – Meal

First of all, I had never heard of Malt – O – Meal cereal company before. This acquisition was picked up on my Philly trip while browsing the cereal aisle. It was right next to the health cereal section and kind of above some cereal bars. This stock placement combined with the odd shape of the box made me confused at first. I wasn’t even sure it was a cereal. I decided to try it out nonetheless. It was an impulse buy, based on the fact that it was a “blueberry muffin” cereal. Beyond that I wasn’t even sure what I was in store for.

It turns out that this is very similar to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It is approximately the same size and approximately the same texture. The only textural difference is that Blueberry Muffin Tops lacks the sprinkling of sugar and cinnamon on the outside of each crisp. This means you don’t get that extra weird sugar crunch in between your teeth while you eat it, like you do with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. In my opinion, this is a good thing. That odd sensation always made me cringe a little and always felt like a drawback. As far as the taste goes, Blueberry Muffin Tops is pretty good. It has that generic “blueberry” flavor that you get with any “blueberry” snack product, but it is mild and evenly distributed. While I don’t personally partake in this, it could even be a good hand-in-box snack; sans-milk. These are quite delicious.


Jumbo Multi-Grain Krispies with a touch of honey by Kelloggs

This is a new variation of Rice Krispies, complete with Snack, Crackle, and Pop on the box cover. Whenever a new variation comes out on a classic cereal, I feel compelled to try it out.
Right off the bat I can say I don’t really expect eating this to resemble a Rice Krispies eating experience. Looking at them, you can tell they are bigger than standard Rice Krispies, as advertised, and I know just based off of that fact that the texture is going to be different. And it is. These Jumbo ones don’t have the exact same crisp to them that standard Rice Krispies have. You know that crisp where if you shovel too big of a spoonful into your mouth, chewing it makes the little Krispies feel like they are taking mini-bites out of your cheek? The sort of crisp that you sense comes from inside the little grains themselves. Indeed, while the Jumbo Multi-Grains are crispy, the insides are more puffy and less crispier than regular Rice Krispies. The flavor is pretty good; kind of generic but good nonetheless. It’s a little sweet, no real big wow though. You know with an established brand like Rice Krispies they really can’t go way out there with the flavor. But Jumbo Multi-Grain Krispies does not disappoint.
These remind me of some other sort of puffin cereal that I have had before that I kind of liked. I want to say Kix but I know it’s not that….


Monday, April 13, 2009

Weekend Action 4/10 - 4/12

This weekend saw some quality snacking.
I went up to Philly to visit my friend Eric on Saturday night. A favorite pastime of ours is to hit up the grocery mart, slowly strolling up and down each and every aisle, grabbing a few things here and there. The idea is to acclimate oneself with the range of options at the same time seriously considering what one might be in the mood for later that evening.
I grabbed a bag of Pixy Stix and was pleasantly surprised that they are as good as I remembered.
Eric's roommate, Jose, and I tried out some new Ben and Jerry's Ice cream. It was the John Lennon brand Ben and Jerry's called "Imagine Whirled Peace" and was a mixture of sweet cream ice cream, toffee, caramel and a few other things... It was pretty good.
I also got a regular size tin of Sara Lee Poundcake and a lone Cadbury Creme Egg.

The excitement of the night, however, came about when Eric brought out the wok filled with vegetable oil for some deep-frying. I had never actually seen this done and was excited about the possibilities... Unfortunately this didn't happen until late in the night/early morning, after I had already eaten a lot, so my natural creativity with this was stunted. While Eric fried up some fresh tortilla chips (which were outstanding), Cody threw out the idea of deep fried pound cake. We cut the pound cake into large bite size pieces and fried them up. They were absolutely incredible. This idea was nothing short of genius. The cake maintains it's integrity, softness and all, while gaining a superb crispy outer layer. This is like adding oil to butter fat.

I must say that I let myself down. The idea was thrown out there that I should toss the Cadbury Creme Egg in. I chickened out. In my defense I was just way too tired and waaay stuffed. I now regret the decision; I have been thinking about this possibility (if it can be done) for the past couple of days.
So, I've decided I have to try it. Hopefully in the coming days I will pick up a wok and some peanut/vegetable oil in order to make this happen. Of course if I am going to start this thing, I can't just stop at one Cadbury Creme Egg. I'm thinking I should definitely go for the deep-fried Twinkie. If anyone has any (reasonable) creative ideas that you think I should try, please feel free to post suggestions in the comments section of this blog. Hopefully I can make this happen this weekend and I'll post my findings on what works and what does not.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Four Basic Snack Food Groups

The Four Basic Snack Food Groups:

(DISCLAIMER: These are just The Snackmaster’s ideas on how to divvy up the general snack groups. There are certainly items out there that defy these categories and even need to be placed in their own categories. This categorization is merely to get some of the most obvious fundamentals down. The Snackmaster also reserves the right to update or change this basic food group at a later date as he sees fit.)

1. Chocolate Products
2. Gummy Products/Chewy Fruity Products (Gummy Worms, Peach Rings, Fruit Snacks, etc.)
3. Pastries/Desserts/Cookies (Hostess Products)
4. Chips/Light Breaded snacks/Grain snacks (Wheat Thins, Potato Chips, Combos)

This may seem arbitrary, but placing specific products in a set group has it’s advantages when attempting to achieve some endurance in snacking. For instance, a hardcore snacking session requires a balance. You can’t just eat an entire bag of chips and then move on to a couple of candy bars. The wiser approach would be to eat a large portion of the chips and then a candy bar, then more chips, then maybe half a candy bar, then more chips. Number one, you don’t want to get bored of any one flavor too soon, and number two, this kind of bobbing and weaving actually suits the stomach. Too much of one specific snack in your stomach can leave it feeling sour or upset. Mixing fools it.
The truth is, every new day provides a different situation, and not all combos work all the time. However, there are some time-tested game plans that have proven successful for me in the past:

The Trifecta:
Start out with Chips category, intersperse regularly with Gummy Products, occasional low dosing of Pastries/Desserts or Chocolate Products always after Chips and Gummy. Repeat. (For whatever reason, milk as a beverage has often worked best with this method.)

The Marathon:
Chips back and forth with Gummy products. This is called the Marathon because the Gummy Products do not fill you up, but they break up the straight run monotony of Chips. This allows you to eat more Chips. It is important to know the right portion and pacing of each category and this is something that you have to test for yourself to find out what works for you. This combo works best on Saturday or Sunday mid afternoons when you woke up late, had a late breakfast and don’t really care when dinner happens.

The Potpourri Explosion:

All groups except for Chips. For when you REALLY just want everything and don’t feel like you should have to decide. It is important that you only eat a little bit of each one before moving on to the next. This is best with 5 – 10 different types of treats/candies. Chips have no place in this equation because they will pervert your experience of satisfaction. Chips are for casual eating, not focused reward consumption. This strategy is intensely personally rewarding, but because of the overload of senses, is not done often. Also, be prepared to have a lot of opened, unfinished snacks.
(Absolutely no soda with this.)

Monday, April 6, 2009

April 6, 2009


I took down another Hershey's Cookie's and Cream bar. Also had some FunYuns Onion Rings. Last night I ate a classic Hershey's Chocolate bar. Once again I have to give credit to the classics. There's something about the thinness/shape/size of a Hershey's Chocolate bar that is just perfect sometimes. I can't think of any other chocolate bar that is that thin. It helps you savor the smoothness and the flavor. Not to mention the parsed out, scored rectangles on the bar. For whatever reason being able to mathematically divide up the bar makes it seem like it lasts longer. It certainly doesn't because the chocolate is that thin.

A few assorted pieces of randomness:
Keebler's Fudge Shoppe Peanut Butter Cookies
More mo-fugging Peeps.
And I rocked a bag of Twizzlers.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Legends of The Snackmaster

I want to talk about a meal I had. I know the first thing you might be thinking is that "a meal" is out of the bounds of the theme of The Snackmaster. However, please read on without skepticism, for I feel that this story is very much in the spirit of The Snackmaster.

I went out to dinner with a group of friends for my buddy Cody’s birthday. We went to a small Vegetarian Dim Sum restaurant in Chinatown, as per his request. We arrived, about 16 deep, and sat tightly packed at 2 tables. Equipped with a mere two menus, we settled in and chatted, getting comfortable. Before I really knew what was going on, the waitress had taken the menus away and several of us were left muttering stuff like “what happenend?” Apparently someone had ordered SOMETHING, and I just trusted good faith that the waitress would figure out that we hadn’t all ordered. Then the food started coming out.
Plate after plate of food. With a lot of people in attendance, the first few plates slowly made their way around the table. I took a little bit of everything, respectfully, not knowing when the food would stop coming out of the kitchen. But it kept coming. As I began to notice that there was going to be a large quantity of various dishes, something inside of me clicked; something that I did not even realize had clicked until half way through the dinner. I wanted everything. Sure just a piece of everything, but everything nonetheless. I soon found myself creating a pace that made me feel like the more I ate the more intense my hunger became. Sort of like the perpetual motion machine in the form of my appetite. I remember being consumed with such a fury of eating that was so fierce I didn’t want to stop. We were so closely seated, and the tables were full of our own plates and the serving plates, that I felt like I was eating off of everything. Everything was everything. The food was done and everyone was ridiculously stuffed. Then the waitress came around and my friend Eric asked sincerely, “Is there more food coming out?” She said no. We made sure that there was, and the second round commenced.

I didn’t know what 95% of what I ate was. The only sure thing that I knew I ate was a few breaded and fried bananas covered in honey sauce. Also some veggie shark fins. Yeah I know, veggie shark fins. There was a lot of dumpling stuff, and I remember the green ones being the best. Oh yeah there was also some spring rolls or egg rolls, but beyond that I have no clue what I ate. I just know I ate a lot of it.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

April 2, 2009

So I haven't done a daily update in a while.
Here's a few quickies:

Today got a bag of Peanut M+M's and remembered how good some of the simpler, more classic candies can be. I'm not a big fan of regular M+M's. I don't frequently eat any of the M+M products with the exception of the new Peanut Butter M+M's. For some reaon these Peanut M+M's hit the spot today. They were simple, predictable and not too weighty on the stomach.

The other day for lunch I explored a new Oreo's product: Cakesters. These come in a three pack. The Oreo Cakesters can best be described as a mini Whoopee Pie. However, they do retain some Oreo cookie flavor. They are roughly a little larger in size than an Oreo's cookie. The outer sandwich pieces are a soft, oily Oreo cookie flavored material. The inside cream is much fluffier than standard Oreo's filling and tastes a bit more like the Hostess Cupcakes cream filling.
All in all these are pretty damn good. Credit to Oreo's for throwing 3 in a package rather than the boring and predictable 2-pack.
I have to warn you though, these are very filling and you can kind of tell when you put them in your mouth that you might not be able to make it all the way through to the third Cakester.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cereal Profiles, Entry 2 : Lucky Charms

Lucky Charms:

For some, the be all and end all for sugar cereals. For me, Lucky Charms was the first focused obsession in the realm of sugar cereals.

There was so much to think about. At first, the “marshmallows” were sensation overload. Luckily they mixed in the oat bits. Then they started to frost the oat bits. More sugar. Thank god. Then, the more I ate Lucky Charms, the more I realized there were too many oat bits.

Eating Lucky Charms then became a game, or perhaps a strategy. I had to eat all of the oat bits first so that I had pure spoonfuls of marshmallow bits at the end. Of course there were times when The Snackmaster bought a brand new box and poured out the entire contents and sorted my business out.

That’s all the wonderfulness of Lucky Charms, without even speaking about the magic that surrounds it. To put it bluntly, it epitomizes the children’s sugar cereal genre. We all know “Lucky the Leprechaun”. Lord knows we all loved watching the commercials of him fighting with the kids to get his magic pot of Lucky Charms. You can’t tell me you weren’t captivated by the arrival of a new shape. As many as 10 different shapes. Only Lucky Charms brought you that much diversity.

There is nothing wholesome about Lucky Charms. You know you’re not getting a balanced breakfast. You know you’re eating it cause you want to jump right into snacking in the morning. The milk doesn’t count. You know the milk doesn’t substantiate enough nutrition in the morning. Lucky Charms had the more interesting back of boxes to read too. You know you never had to look at a montage of photos of wheat or baskets of grains while reading flowery language about how the manufacturers made their cereal from the healthiest ingredients. You read the back of Lucky Charms’ boxes to play some kiddy puzzle or maze, or read an entertaining comic about the trouble Lucky has been getting in lately.

You have a box of Lucky Charms in your hand, you have the total package.