Friday, April 3, 2009

Legends of The Snackmaster

I want to talk about a meal I had. I know the first thing you might be thinking is that "a meal" is out of the bounds of the theme of The Snackmaster. However, please read on without skepticism, for I feel that this story is very much in the spirit of The Snackmaster.

I went out to dinner with a group of friends for my buddy Cody’s birthday. We went to a small Vegetarian Dim Sum restaurant in Chinatown, as per his request. We arrived, about 16 deep, and sat tightly packed at 2 tables. Equipped with a mere two menus, we settled in and chatted, getting comfortable. Before I really knew what was going on, the waitress had taken the menus away and several of us were left muttering stuff like “what happenend?” Apparently someone had ordered SOMETHING, and I just trusted good faith that the waitress would figure out that we hadn’t all ordered. Then the food started coming out.
Plate after plate of food. With a lot of people in attendance, the first few plates slowly made their way around the table. I took a little bit of everything, respectfully, not knowing when the food would stop coming out of the kitchen. But it kept coming. As I began to notice that there was going to be a large quantity of various dishes, something inside of me clicked; something that I did not even realize had clicked until half way through the dinner. I wanted everything. Sure just a piece of everything, but everything nonetheless. I soon found myself creating a pace that made me feel like the more I ate the more intense my hunger became. Sort of like the perpetual motion machine in the form of my appetite. I remember being consumed with such a fury of eating that was so fierce I didn’t want to stop. We were so closely seated, and the tables were full of our own plates and the serving plates, that I felt like I was eating off of everything. Everything was everything. The food was done and everyone was ridiculously stuffed. Then the waitress came around and my friend Eric asked sincerely, “Is there more food coming out?” She said no. We made sure that there was, and the second round commenced.

I didn’t know what 95% of what I ate was. The only sure thing that I knew I ate was a few breaded and fried bananas covered in honey sauce. Also some veggie shark fins. Yeah I know, veggie shark fins. There was a lot of dumpling stuff, and I remember the green ones being the best. Oh yeah there was also some spring rolls or egg rolls, but beyond that I have no clue what I ate. I just know I ate a lot of it.

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